Monday, July 8, 2013

A Battle

It has been awhile sine I have last posted and we are doing good, I am struggling a bit it can be so hard to be a full time mom and work full time but I love my job so much that I wouldn't give it up and I love some of the people I work with! We sold our car got a pathfinder and loving it so much it is so comfortable to take on trips and im so in love with it. I cleaned our garage out because Bentley was having a rough week and i did amazing!!! I have been struggling with some issues with my family and its been so hard to keep it separated from work. It seems like I can never get away from all the stuff they have put me through and I just keep trying to keep going I tell people I"m fine but inside I don't feel fine I feel like i'm breaking into a freaking million pieces while trying to keep it together there is literally a war going through my head, I'm always there for people I just need to ask so that someone will be there for me to help me to show the emotion I feel and tell me that its okay. I ended up telling my managers about the my past and how i was treated but it made me who I am today. Then I ended up telling them and another co worker what I used to do and its been so hard lately not to do any of it. I want to be healthy for my baby girl. I am stuck in that place where I can that I need to cry that I should cry but I can't and I want it to go away. I am so happy with my life and I hate feeling like this I want to be where I was emotionally before everyone started saying it was my fault for everything. Bringing old emotions up.... My husband, my daughter, and my work family seriously keep me going and i'm so grateful for that. Anyways Danika can cruse with the furniture and stand by her self I can't believe in a few days she will be 9 months old. I love this girl to death and her first tooth is breaking threw.

 I love her blue eyes
 So beautiful I can't ask for a better daughter