This Is What Love Is Called: Making a hard decision

So this year after our loss and we had run all the tests that my obgyn wanted to run to find out the cause of why I kept miscarrying. I told Bentley that I didn't want to wait this time to try for another one. I wanted to keep trying when we were given the green light to try. We were given six months by my obgyn to try and naturally convince and if we couldn't we were going to be put on clomid to try and help the process out.. We thought that it was the way things were looking towards, I was tracking my ovulation since that is the only way we can get pregnant because my cycles usually aren't reliable they are only that way if and when on birth control it seems like. After only 2 months on birth control I stopped after my surgery in July so maybe less then a month. After that my cycles were far from being regular. I went 1 month not even having a complete cycle I know this one because i tested the whole month and a few months some weird reason either completely missing when I ovulated or I have no idea. Which surprised me in September that I had missed my cycle, but all my tests were coming up negative. I talked to my obgyn one day and she told me to wait a week and see if it came up positive if not then I would have more blood work that she wanted to get done which was most likely a blood test for pregnancy. After waiting a week in September I felt weird the whole day I am not sure how to completely explain it but here it goes. I felt dizzy but not really dizzy and i felt immensely hungry like my all ready high metabolism had kicked into hyper drive (which is the state its currently in) and it took my body for a wild ride. When I got home I felt exhausted and took a nap, now I normally just put on a show for Danika and sleep after work but this day i slept more than my normal naps usually were. When we went into Idaho Falls for Bentley's birthday we bought a pregnancy test and low and behold this one did actually come back positive. After that I made an apt with my Obgyn and after Danika birthday I went in for an ultrasound to make sure that it was in the right spot and how far along I was. During this apt it was decided that I would have an ultrasound every week to make sure the heart was still beating and to help comfort my fears too. I have an ultrasound for basically each week besides after 11 weeks and when I went in for my 7 week ultrasound I found out that I was actually 8 weeks and 4 days lol ( which changed my due date) During this pregnancy I have to take baby aspirin everyday to keep my blood thin so that it doesn't produce clots that can get into the placenta and harm the baby. I have had amazing co workers during this time they have taken over if needed, they make sure that i'm doing okay during a case or after a case, and they send me to lunch first if they can ( which i feel ever so grateful about) I have felt sick with this one and I did have to leave a case to throw up in my mouth. During the 1st trimester I could barely do colonoscopy's and EGD with out getting motion sickness which is common. My co workers have known since i wasn't that far along because there are certain things i have to do at work like wear double the lead, no cement so I am usually first to break out of a case when in totals or not in them at all. I really feel blessed and some days still are a struggle but life wouldn't be that way if it wasn't like this. we decided to tell family finally during Christmas because with my normal clothes on you can tell im pregnant nd my belly button is saying hello to the world. I was also being watched so closely because I had a Subchorionic hemorrhage which can be seen on my 9 week and 4 day ultrasound luckily it dissolved itself and got smaller every week. There was a chance I could start bleeding which made everything also very nerve racking. we can not wait for June 11th to be here.